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Writer's pictureErin & Cari

Rules for Writing the Horse

Updated: Mar 4

Hello, and welcome, friends and horses!

Oh, wait. *side glance* Why would I mention horses? That makes no sense. *glances up at the title* No sense at all.

Okay, fine. It makes sense. Today, I have a post for you that you might like if you like horse stories! Remember, these are just stereotypes.

Rules for Writing the Horse by Allie Lynn

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Five Tips to Being the Hero’s Best Equine Companion

(Note: This is not actually recommended, this is me putting in almost all of the tropes I hate)

  1. You must have a long mane and tail, that will flow dramatically in the wind as you gallop to your next adventures. You must also be able to gallop for hours without your heart exploding.

  2. You can not be afraid of all the normal things a horse would be afraid of, such as wolves, loud noises, fires, bad-smelling men with swords, etc. Good luck.

  3. If your owner is a girl you must be exceptionally polite and bow for her to get on your back, since you are probably too large for her to mount anyway. Also, you must have a magical bond from the very beginning especially if you were once wild. If your rider is a male, you must allow him to yank your mouth around in a dramatic fashion, jump into your back from heights, and you must rear before every single gallop.

  4. You cannot have interest in doing normal horse things with other horses. You must be at your owner’s every beck, call, and whistle, regardless if they actually have treats or not. Always appreciate treats.

  5. Prepare to be sold or die by the end of the book. Your owner won’t care— they’ll just get another horse. You’re not as indispensable as you like to think. Good luck.

Allie Lynn is a passionate and talented writer who first and foremost desires to honor God with her writing. She has been passionate about “all things horses” from a very young age, which greatly influences her work. Her desire is to produce equine-based fiction that is inspiring and entertaining without compromising her faith. When she is not diving into her fictional world, she is writing articles and short stories for magazines and websites. You can follow Allie Lynn’s work at EquineontheMind.com

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Yep. I read that, and I remembered the Misty of Chincoteague books.

What are your favorite horse stereotypes, and why? Comment below with your answer!

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